Thursday, January 26, 2012

The Insane Delivery-- Skyler 7

Jan 16th

Later that night I started to have contractions again. They were more painful than the other ones but much farther apart. I was having 2 to 4 every hour. They were keeping me up at night. At 1:30 am, I got the second steroid shot.
Since my contractions were so painful, the doctor came in and checked me around 11:00am. I was still 80 percent effaced and dilated to a 2. The next few hours I was having what I think they call back labor but it wasn't as painful as the other contractions. They were a little bit closer but not close that I was extremely concerned. I also started feeling a lot of pressure. I thought it was because I had to go to the bathroom.
At about 1:18 I went to the bathroom and felt pressure in the front. I looked down and could see something. I walked quickly to the bed and told Chris, "The baby is coming!" He had taken off work and school again so that he could be there in case anything happened. He was sleeping on the chair in my room when I said that. He looked down at me and ran to get the nurses. It was literally like a dramatic scene out of a movie or television show. The next thing I know, the nurses are running, wheeling me in the bed over to labor and delivery. Doctors are running beside me. I just look up and say, "What do I do?" They tell me not to push, so I don't. I'm afraid that its bad for him to be stuck in there for too long. They get me into one of the rooms and stick something sterile under me and I push two or three times and two doctors deliver my baby. His butt comes out first instead of his legs, making it so his head didn't get stuck-- Another miracle. I had decided at this point that I probably would do a c-section but since he came out so fast, we didn't have to make that choice. At this point Skyler hasn't made a sound, of course, and I don't think he's moving. They hand him over to the team of NICU doctors and nurses. Later I learned that the doctor on call was the head of the NICU team at the hospital-- another blessing.
I tell them over and over just to resuscitate him. Save him. It doesn't matter if he isn't moving or anything. Just resuscitate him. Resuscitate him and if he is a vegetable we can always take him off support later. I say it over and over so that there's no confusion about what we want. Even then a NICU doctor tells me that they can stop at any point if I want to, and I say "Don't, just save him." It's then that I cry. I have a gut wrenching sob. They take Skyler away.

Chris' hand has been on my head the whole time. You think you love someone, but then you go through something like this with them and it becomes something so much deeper. All the petty stuff you ever fought about before just doesn't matter anymore. Chris and I had talked about it earlier, and he said of course we would love Skyler if he was handicapped and had disabilities. Just as much. And I know Chris means it. He would love him just as much and he would never resent him or the situation. That's who he is.
My mom left the room and Chris and I had some time together. It was about then that all the pain started to hit me. Right when they started pushing on my stomach. I pretty much went into shock and started shaking and having tons of pain and nausea. It was then that they gave me some pain meds and an hour later they kicked in and I felt better.

We got to go and see our son in the NICU around that time. He was stable and doing good. I listened as Chris put a finger on Skyler's little head and gave him a blessing. It was one of the sweetest moments of my life. To watch my husband give our son, our miracle baby, his first father's blessing.
He was so small. A little longer than Chris' hand but probably not as wide. They told us that once they resuscitated him, he started kicking and punching them. They had to sedate him-- a really good sign. He's a fighter. If I hadn't gone into labor the day before, he wouldn't have had time for the steroids to work in his system. They weren't planning on giving them to me for a couple more days. Just another one of the many miracles. And now he is doing so well. He doesn't even have any bleeding in his brain. Something that is rare and truly a miracle for a premature baby like him. We feel so blessed that he is doing so well, so blessed to have him.


  1. Leah- you and your story are amazing. Thanks for sharing everything. Love you!

  2. Leah you are the strongest Wife and Mother I know. I've said it once i'll say it again. He gets his fight from him mom. I'm glad you put this in writing. The miracles are amazing and you all deserve ever single one. We continue to fast and pray for you all. I love you so much and thank you for letting me visit you.

  3. Leah, he is beautiful! I am so happy to hear you and Skyler are doing okay. I am so sorry you've had to go through all of this. You are in our prayers:)

  4. Whenever I hear this song, I think of you. Now I'll think of you and Skyler. Perhaps he's not meant to be "like everyone else".

    "I am unwritten, can't read my mind, I'm undefined
    I'm just beginning, the pen's in my hand, ending unplanned

    Staring at the blank page before you
    Open up the dirty window
    Let the sun illuminate the words that you could not find

    Reaching for something in the distance
    So close you can almost taste it
    Release your inhibitions
    Feel the rain on your skin
    No one else can feel it for you
    Only you can let it in
    No one else, no one else
    Can speak the words on your lips
    Drench yourself in words unspoken
    Live your life with arms wide open
    Today is where your book begins
    The rest is still unwritten

    Oh, oh, oh

    I break tradition, sometimes my tries, are outside the lines
    We've been conditioned to not make mistakes, but I can't live that way

    Staring at the blank page before you
    Open up the dirty window
    Let the sun illuminate the words that you could not find"

  5. What a story. I can't wait to hear more. I hope you find time and energy to keep blogging. Skyler's story has touched my heart.

    I think it must have been so special for your mom that she was there. I gave birth to David without an epidural and remember shaking so violently afterward and feeling sick. It is so interesting that you went through the whole process of labor without ever knowing how it would end. Like being in labor without being able to know if it would bring the baby or if it would stop. What an emotional roller-coaster. You are a champ Leah.

  6. What an incredibly trying experience. You are amazingly strong and such a good example to me. Baby Skyler has a great mom and dad.

  7. leah im so sorry you had to go through all of this. I have such a testimony of hard times and feeling gods presents. You guys are truly blessed through your trials. I was in the temple the other day and put your guys name on the prayer roll. My thoughts and prayers are with you guys. You are already such a strong mom and you already know what is best for your baby.

  8. Oh have you ever been on my mind! I am thinking about you guys almost constantly! You all are in my prayers! It is amazing how quickly our experience with all of this comes flooding back as I read your words. Leah, every thing has a purpose! The Lord is all around you holding you up and giving you strength! I think more than anything else, our experience taught me the clear difference between faith and trust. Have faith that the Lord can accomplish anything, and then trust whatever comes, whatever it is!

    I remember one day sitting by Dawson's bedside. He was really struggling. We had been in the hospital for about 7 months by this time. I think up until this point I could see what a trial it was for us to go through. However, I had such an amazing feeling all at once that shifted my focus and really gave me strength beyond my own. I remember feeling so strongly that this experience was for our growth, but it was a sacred mission Dawson was sent to perform and it was between him and the Lord. The Lord knew that Dawson would need love and comfort and that Ryan and I were the best ones for the job. We were a gift to Dawson. A sign of Heavenly Fathers love for him. He trusted us to help him fulfill this difficult mission. Something in me totally changed. When I could see myself as the "cheerleader" or the "crutch" for Dawson, it gave me a drive to do everything I could to help him through this!

    Leah, when I heard that Skyler doesn't have brain bleeds I was so blown away by the miracle of that. Both of my babies had grade 4's, the worst, and they were both bigger than Skyler by a pound! I remember Dr. Layne (I called him Dr. Doom) telling me, in his blunt manner, that they would both be bed bound for their entire lives. Dawson may have only stayed with us for 4 1/2 years, but he had as much adventure as we could possibly give him and lived a perfect life. Mallory is anything but bed bound! She is in Kindergarten, and while she does have a few minor behavioral issues, she is simply amazing and loved by everyone that meets her! At parent teacher conferences this week I was told that she is testing higher in reading that the 4th graders at Grovecrest! Her math is way off the charts too! It is things like this that helps me understand that you just never know what will come about from the NICU. I have met kids that started under a pound that are nearly symptom-less...and I have met kids that are severely handicapped that were born at 31 weeks and weighed almost 5 lbs. Everything is in the Lords hands. There is no predicting what will come, only accepting it and doing your best!

    There is a reason the Lord has trusted you and Chris to be Skyler's parents! Remember that every single thing happens because it is the Lords will! Skyler is totally in his hands. When discouragement feels like it would be the easiest thing to feel, remember that even when we don't understand, the Lord knows, and His plan is perfect! One day, I promise, you will look back on this part of your life with so much gratitude for the Lord! Adversity is when He shows Himself to you in a way that you can never see without such an experience!

    (sorry, too long winded...I have to continue on another comment!) :)

  9. If you see Dr. Null kicking around, he is one of the best! He delivered my twins. Then he was the doctor that was there when Dawson was FINALLY released from the hospital at 8 months. He told me that day that he could clearly remember Dawson's first day. He said that he never thought Dawson would make it through the first couple of days. He was sicker than most and it would be nearly impossible for him to pull out. He was totally excited to get to release him from the hospital! The 4 1/2 years I had with him were the best of my life! I learned SO much about Heavenly Fathers love for us! And now I have my little man forever!

    Leah, if you ever need someone to talk to that has been where you are, or if you have any questions or just need a little pick me up, please don't hesitate call, facebook, email...anything! Please know that I am here for whatever you need!

    Much love sister!!

    Love, Amy Lindstrom (Kayla's Sister!) :)

    1. You are an inspiration Amy! ... I was wondering if you ever had any problems with the nurses?

  10. Gosh I can't stop crying reading this. What a miracle baby this kid is! And You and your husband's faith in the Lord through all of this is incredible. Thank you for being such an incredible example of that. I'm sure you know it, but you have so many people praying for you!

  11. Thank you so much for all your comments. I love reading them. We definitely feel the support from all of you!