Off the ventilator and moving forward!

It was the sweetest thing-- hearing Skyler cry, sneeze, and hiccup for the first time, at 5 1/2 weeks old/28 weeks gestation. He was able to come off the ventilator just a few days after having the surgery. His voice was a little raspy at first, but soon one of the nurses was commenting on how strong his voice was for his size--all 1 lb. 10 oz of em'.
I had anticipated hearing him cry, but I wasn't expecting to hear him hiccup and sneeze. I had gotten so used to seeing him do it without any sound. I was surprised when I heard this cute little noise accompany it. It was the cutest thing ever.
Hearing his voice was exciting and comforting for many reasons. One being, that it meant the surgery went well. One of the risks of the surgery is that it can irritate the nerve that controls his vocal cords and affect his voice. If the nerve is irritated enough, it can cause his food to go into his lungs instead of his stomach. The risks are higher if the baby is smaller, like Skyler. So hearing his voice is a great sign that he isn't showing any signs of complications from the surgery so far.
It is also such a blessing because I don't feel like I have to worry about him as much. It's comforting to know he has a voice and can speak up for himself. If he needs something, he can let the nurses know. I don't feel like I have to watch him every second I am there to see if he is doing okay. I had to pray--well--beg that the Lord would help him, and then try not to worry myself sick. Now that the ventilator is off I have a sense of relief.
When we were driving home from the hospital that night, Chris said he loved hearing Skyler's voice because it made him seem like a real baby. Of course, he's always seemed 'real' to us-- but it's obviously a different experience than having a full-term baby. Especially at first--he's hooked up to so many cords and machines. He can't be bothered by too much light or noise because it might cause bleeding in his brain. He can't be held; he can't breath on his own or regulate his own body temperature. His skin is somewhat see-through and his little eyes are sealed shut. It's just an insane experience. I didn't even touch him until he was five days old because I was afraid of hurting him. So, it is nice to see him progressing and doing real baby things. But, at the same time, it's been wonderful to watch him each step of the way.
Chris and I have both thought at different times; Couldn't we just go to sleep and wake up one day when he's all better and ready to come home? But, in reality, wouldn't that be sad. Yes, we would have missed seeing him go through pain and stress and fear. But even though it's awful to see, I'm happy to say that I was there with him during a lot of those times, and that maybe he heard my voice and was comforted. Plus, we would have missed all the good things too-- seeing his little fighting spirit and all the amazing miracles since the beginning. Things that I never would have seen or appreciated otherwise. Like, seeing his eyes open, one at a time, after being sealed shut, seeing the little hairs or fuzz on his body before it all falls off, watching the lines develop more fully on the palms of his hands, seeing his little eyebrows form, things like that. Wonderful things.
It's always funny to me when I get the baby center emails now. The ones that tell you about your baby's progress each week. You know, the ones that compare your baby to a type of fruit; "You're baby is about the size of a mango this week," that sort of thing. I still open them up and read them. In my last one the subject read, "See what your baby looks like." Oh the irony of it all.